Wednesday, 2 August 2017

KRISSY: MY FAMILY ARGUE ALL THE TIME

It's problem page time again on DREAMCATCHER and reader Krissy has a problem for Skye Tanberry to solve...

Krissy says:
We are only one week into the school holidays and I am counting down the days till we go back to school. My family argue and fight all the time. My parents snipe and row over the stupidest things and my sister and brother are even worse, calling names and being so spiteful and mean. I shut myself in my room most of the time and I'm dreading next week, when we go to Spain for a fortnight. It will be worse... and people will notice, because everyone else is happy on holiday and we're loud and embarrassing and argue all the time. Sometimes I wish I wasn't a part of this family at all.

Skye says:
Sometimes, a family gets into bad habits. Parents bicker (Mum and Dad did loads, before they broke up) and this unsettles everyone and brothers and sisters think it's OK to row and be mean too. It's not... and the love that connects you as a family is getting lost underneath it all. Some families are loud and dramatic, and that's OK, but the constant nastiness is not. Talk to your family person by person and explain how you feel and how much this drags you down. If even one of them shares your unhappiness about the situation, things can change. If you find they won't listen or don't care, you have no option but to find a safe space for yourself where you can zone out when things get bad. Your room can be a peaceful refuge, but activities like yoga, meditation, cycling, swimming, dancing, walking the dog, hanging out with friends and much more can also help you to cope. Something as simple as having a book in your bag can help on holiday... just walk away from the drama, settle down on the sand or in a quiet corner, and escape into the story. We cannot always change our family, but we can learn to cope with the difficult times and maintain a sense of calm inside ourselves. Good luck.

Cathy says:
As Skye suggests, there are no easy answers here, but techniques for coping can make all the difference. Krissy can also confide in a trusted teacher, relative or family friend if she needs extra support. What advice would YOU give? COMMENT BELOW to have your say!

2 comments:

  1. From my past... i have learnt being artistic has really helped. Or simply doing what you enjoy is so good! If u dont know... get outside and go for a walk like Skye said! Bascially anything positive that takes your mind off. And stick to it- one or more things. :-)

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  2. Try finding a new hobby to distract yourself. I find reading and going on YouTube good. The upside of going on YouTube is that if you have headphones in, it wll be harder to hear them! Stay strong and calm. Also buy a diary and write your feelings in it. Talk to your parents if it ends up bothering you loads! Also talk to your siblings, but the bests ting you can do in the meantime with your siblings is to ignore them and not take to heart what they say!
    Good luck!

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