Sunday, 30 August 2015

GEORGIA: I LIKED A GIRL...

Reader Georgia describes how her first teen crush turned everything upside-down…

Georgia says:
Growing up can be tough. It's a hard time of your life to navigate, but I had it under control - I was acing all my subjects and I actually had friends for the first time in my life. Then, suddenly, I found my adolescence-nemesis in the crush department. I had never seen why the One Direction boys were so attractive to my friends, or why I would ever want a boyfriend. Then Cait came along: borderline genius, good at cross-country, unbelievably pretty. I had never wanted to be friends with someone as much as I wanted to be friends with her.

You know the feeling - it's Friday afternoon, period six French and you're having an existential crisis. Everyone else has been conjugating verbs while you are now having a minor internal breakdown. For me, this was mainly attributed to the fact that I just realised I'd been staring at the girl next to me for forty minutes; imagining what it would be like to shuffle my chair over and bump shoulders with her, to inch my hand across the desk and hold hers, to do that head-tilty thing like they do on TV and kiss her right on the lips. Sitting dumbstruck in Year Nine French, I had just realised that I liked a girl; really liked her.

At this point in time I started feeling all the wrong things… like I was a freak, like I didn't belong, like there was something messed up about my head and heart. In our society, most girls like guys and most guys like girls, and this is what you see on TV, in films, in books. At fourteen years of age I barely knew it was possible for a girl to fancy another girl. It took me another year to tell my best friends that I wasn't straight; they were so understanding and barely bothered, because I hadn't changed as a person. At the moment I am still trying to decide which 'labels' fit me best as I have recently realised I like male humans as well as female. Shock! I am confident that one day I will settle down with a lovely boy or girl and eventually raise a family of delightful children in a society where this kind of stuff is perfectly normal and visible in everyday life.

I hope anyone reading this who does not identify as straight will know that you are not alone in your experiences; a few years ago I was just like you. My story is nowhere near done yet, but it's most certainly on track to a happy ending!

Cathy says:
I know this is a subject many of my readers are curious or worried about… thank you, Georgia, for sharing your experience with such sensitivity. Is being straight or gay a big deal to YOU? COMMENT BELOW to have your say.

5 comments:

  1. Don't worry about it. Take evreything at your pace. Myself, I am a fully lesbian young girl and as long as your happy, it doesn't matter.

    Liking both sexes is usually put under a Bisexual label, but don't feel like you have to put labels on your sexuality at all. It's all up to you!

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  2. Not a big deal for me. I'm nowhere near straight. I thought it might be a big deal for others when I was first figuring it out but I'm lucky in that my family and friends didn't mind. My brother points out pretty girls when we're out and about which is pretty much the highest form of acceptance and my mum is happy for me to date girls although she still comes out with stuff like "That's so gay!" which I make a joke out of because it's obvious she's not going to stop any time soon. She doesn't mean to be malicious, she just can't change old speaking habits. I can really identify with Georgia although I'm not quite sure when I realised I had a crush on the girl on the year above me. I think it just developed over time. But she was gorgeous. When she smiled, I melted. When she spoke to me, I turned into a stuttering mess. I tried to learn Japanese to impress her. I got a Facebook because she asked me if I had Facebook and I didn't but for her, I'd do anything. I watched her through my sunglasses at lunchtime, wishing I had the guts to ask her out. I spent my study periods absent mindedly making origami frogs whilst dreaming about kissing her. I had to be comforted by my friends on the last day of term when I saw her kissing another girl. Ah, teenage crushes! Those were the days!

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  3. I don't see a problem at all. I am not gay but I still don't see it as a problem. People should be who they want to be, not what they are told to be. Its fine, it should not be a big deal to some people.

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  4. One of my closest friends has a brother who is gay and I don't have anything against it although I know lots of people who do. I think everyone just has to accept it and if they don't well that is just their own problem. Also I think a lot of the time people are just scared of difference and change but people shouldn't be, after all sometimes it can be a GOOD thing.

    coolbeansgirl

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  5. I uses to think I was a freak. My brother started saying everything I did was gay. 'Writing with a blue pen? Ugh that's so gay...' I started wondering if maybe I was lesbian, and pretty much bit my nails yo the cuticals in worry. 'What if I am? So what?'
    'Your friends won't understand...everyone will tease u' round and round my head... It was becoming exhausting. I looked around at my class... Loads of beautiful girls all dreaming of boys. Not dreaming of girls. But then, a tall, boy with toffee skin and cheekbones to literally die for walked in the class room.

    I dropped my book my hand over my mouth. I was practically melting into the carpet.

    He was my own Sam Taylor.

    His name was just as hot as him too...
    Zach Morgan...

    I was in deeeeep deep way way down love.
    I couldn't even feel the pain in my fingers where my bitten nails were sore. Every limb and part inside of me was fizzing and bubbling...

    He was waring his tie around his head, feet in some white and black skates, navy trousers and a white blouse... And a navy blazer. I put my hand out on my desk trying to steady myself. And knocked all on my felt pens on the floor. Zach looked at me and put his stuff next to mine and helped me with my pens.

    We are 'seeing' each other now. All the worry lesbian caused..well isn't worth anything. If ur lesbian...oh well. That's u. xox

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