Saturday, 21 March 2015

KRISS: THE SNEAKY BULLY

Reader Kriss describes what it's like to be targetted by a clever bully…

Kriss says:
I raise my hand in class to make a comment and she raises her eyebrows and whispers nasty things about me to her friends. They all laugh. At lunchtime, a groups of my classmates sit together and I try to stop myself from shaking as I sit down. She is sneaky with this sort of thing. She makes everyone turn their backs, and I am left so shamed I get up and head for the library. Lately, I have been trying to avoid her. I only have a couple of friends, both in the year above me, and I try to sit with them in the library, the art room, the music room. I am the victim of a sneaky bully, one who never gets caught.

She moved to my primary in Year 5, and everyone fell for her. At first, I did too, but soon she began to do nasty things. She'd invite everyone but me to play, ask everyone in the class but me to her birthday party, laugh at me in PE. It's all quite subtle. She is sneaky, and only does things that others don't notice. If I try to tell a classmate, they laugh and say 'What? She's so nice!'

It has been five years now; five whole years, and things are still bad. If I make a new friend, she steps in, blocks me out, spoils it all. I have told my parents and they've met her; they believe me. Mum suggested talking to the school, but her parents are teachers at my secondary school and it would be awkward and difficult to complain. Dad said I could change schools, but there isn't another suitable school nearby. I am left counting down the years, months, weeks until I leave school and escape this nightmare.

If you are going through something similar, please speak out early on and nip things in the bud; the mistake I made was waiting so long to reach out. If you cannot tell a teacher, do what I do and write in a diary to vent your feelings, or paint, walk, take a bubble bath, hang out with family and pets… anything that helps you de-stress. If you can, ignore the bully. You are strong, independent, beautiful, amazing and talented; they are not worth your sadness, not worth your time of day.

Names have been changed, and the picture was posed by model Georgia. Many thanks!

Cathy says:
Do you think Kriss is right to stay silent? What would YOU do? COMMENT BELOW to have your say!

13 comments:

  1. I think that staying silent won't achieve anything so just ignore her and remember that sometimes people bully you because they're jealous of you maybe that's the case with kriss

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  2. I would not stay silent I would go straight to someone but if I was in that situation then I would write in a dairy and spend time with my family lots like Kriss has but sometimes it is best to speak out even if the situation is very complicated

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  3. Who cares if her parents are teachers? Surely they're not both the only teachers in the school! There really must be someone to talk to. Make a case, get every piece of evidence you can; she's your criminal and needs to face the consequences of her actions. You don't desrve to leave school because she's being cruel.

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  4. This post is very emotive and touching - it grabs my attention from the first sentence. Kriss has no right to stay silent about this, she should stick up for herself. If she's unable to, then she could try her very best to avoid this bully whenever she can, by spending time in the library or in the ICT suite, if she wants to. I understand thoroughly what Kriss is going through, and she doesn't deserve to be treated like this. No, not at all. Bullying is harassment, and if this bully carries on, then phone Childline, and they'll help you through it.

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    Replies
    1. "Kriss"3 April 2015 at 06:17

      Thanks Zarin, I have written a few other articles, but only this one has a fake name. :)

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  5. This is similar to what happened to me. I moved to my secondary school hoping to be the only one from primary there/ have my friend from primary but some girls who i used to be friends with moved there too. Every time i tried to make a friend, one of the girls would always try and get in the way, she'd talk to them and make them like her better than me. Luckily now it's stopped but she still hurt me at primary and secondary and i won't forget that or forgive her for hurting me. I hope Kriss' situation gets better because i know what it's like to be her. Blondie

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  6. i went through a similar story, but mine was more cyberbullying...i was shy and quiet in high school and followed people around...i had threats of people coming after me if i hung around their friends and swearing from people on MSN...i didn't tell my parents right away and I regret that...i eventually did tell my mum and she reported it to the head of senior school and he investigated it...i isolated myself then in the change rooms at school because I felt scared...i got deeply depressed and one day I just cried and cried...i was saved by some students who told a teacher and she saved me and spoke to me...i finished some art that was due and that calmed me and I recited a memory verse from the bible that was in my head and that made me feel stronger...i ended up calling my mum and she took me home...the head of senior school found the students who bullied me and said that if they did it again, it would be a police matter...these people were from my grade so I ended up sitting with people younger than me through the rest of high school...this happened in year 11 and is a summary of what happened

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  7. I would tell complain to her parents if i was her if that can help make my life better or else transfer to another school.

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  8. Thanks everyone for your advice. :) P.s. I wrote the article

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    Replies
    1. You're so brave, I hope things get better.

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  9. That's happening to me too.

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  10. It's happened to me before and I spoke out. Even though me speaking out meant that I was kicked out of the air cadets for allegedly making up rumours about the girl who was bullying me, I am still glad that I did make a fuss and report her, because she has been known to bully others and as a result of her bullying, two other cadets have committed suicide.

    You could save someone else from the pain and the hurt by reporting the girl for bullying.
    it is possible to report bullying anonymously, and even if you cannot do so, school confidentiality means that the school can't tell the bully that it was you specifically that reported her.

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  11. This happened to me and had only just stopped. I am in year 7 and this guy in my English has only just stopped because I reported him, made sure I am with friends around him and made a massive fuss. But I know what it's like to feel like you can't tell anyone: the bully pressures you into not saying anything. It was really hard for me at the time but it had gone on for long enough (a term and a half): I even busy into tears in front of 4 teachers! I feel much better now and I think that is what everyone should do: tell someone immediately.

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