Tuesday, 27 January 2015

KERRY: MY FRIENDS DON'T APPROVE

Reader Kerry has a problem… can Summer Tanberry help?

Kerry says:
I have been doing ballet and jazz dance since I was about four. I love it - it makes me feel alive, and my lessons are the happiest points in my week. The problem is that my friends don't approve. They think that ballet and dance in general is babyish and silly, and they think it's especially funny that I love it because I am not a typical dancer shape. I am quite tall, 5' 9", and also quite strongly built. If I didn't work so hard at my dance I would probably be overweight, but as it is I still stand out as being the 'big' one next to my friends. They tease me and make nasty comments and it is really getting to me. Do you have any advice?

Summer says:
I think your friends need a reality check. I bet they have no idea how much hard work dance is - and I'm pretty sure there is a bit of jealousy tied up in their attitude, too. Do they not have hobbies, or are their interests limited to making nasty gossip? Sorry, but with friends like this, who needs enemies? Their constant sniping must be chipping away at your confidence every day. You have a choice; either face your friends and tell them to stop putting you down all the time, or walk away from these girls and find some mates who respect you and the things that matter to you. As for not being a dancer's shape, so what? 99% of us who love dance will not end up being professional dancers, but trust me, it doesn't matter because we LOVE it. Dance is expressive and  empowering, and that's true whatever your shape might be. If dance matters to you, hold your head high and make your sure your friends know that it's a part of you… whether they like it or not. Good luck!

Cathy says:
Do YOU agree with Summer's advice? What would YOU add to it? COMMENT BELOW to have your say!

9 comments:

  1. if they're nasty to you then they aren't your friends!

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  2. I definitely agree to Summer's brilliant strategies in friendship problems because they are useful and they do not hurt anyone's feelings at all. By the way, if Cathy Cassidy is reading this, can she give me reply to these questions:
    1) What inspires you with writing?
    2)How do you develop your own personal style?
    And . . .
    3)Do you have any top tips when you write your stories?
    P.S. I'm the anonymous that said how cruel Hitler was in imprisoning the Jews to concentration camps - and I'm filled with glee that you've replied to me!

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  3. I agree with Summer's advice because it isn't kind to tease someone about what they like doing. And that's not what a friend should do either. A friend should be supportive and they shouldn't chip away confidence of their own best friend! I'm lucky that my best friend is kind and supportive in what I like doing best, so then I don't have to feel as if I'm in the gloom, like Kerry is feeling.

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  4. I used to have a friend like that... Really killed my confidence. Méabh.

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  5. i have a friend like that to she ruined my life she is going out with a boy and completly ignoring me

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  6. Do what you want to do - don't let them influence your decisions!

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  7. I'm mad about dance and it keeps me fit. honestly, I think they are jealous that they don't do dance or aren't as good as you! it's not babyish - no seriously, an eighty year old woman was dancing in britains got talent a few years ago. and you should really listen to summers agony aunt advice. it's very sensible.

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