Sunday, 28 September 2014

STEPHANIE-JADE: THE STEPS!

Is a family split the end of the world, or is there life after divorce? And what happens when you have half brothers and sisters? Reader Stephanie shares her experience of being part of a 'blended' family…

Stephanie-Jade says:
My mum and dad split when I was very little, so I don't remember the details and I didn't completely understand what was going on. As I've got older, I know it's because they argued a lot and wanted different things. I live with my mum, but my dad has a new partner now and they have three children together - which means I have three half-siblings! We live several hundred miles apart, so we don't see each other very often - a=maybe three or four times a year - but we are most definitely a family!

I was around six when Rosie, the eldest, was born. As the years went on, Alfie and Poppy were too. My main worry at first was about how often I'd get to see them and whether they would treat me as a sister, but I needn't have worried - they do! It's a little scary to know that your family are not all together, but we all cope; we talk to each other on the phone and are in contact a lot. At the moment, Dad is in Italy for work and we are all missing him like mad - I wish we could be there more for each other to talk about it and support each other, but we do our best! It helps that I like Dad's new partner… she is very supportive of me and we all get along really well.

Poppy is the youngest of my three half-siblings… whenever I see her she is desperate to spend 24/7 with me and loves taking selfies with me! She understands why I can't see her as often as I'd like but she says she would pay for me to visit more! Little briber! Poppy is a mini-me… she is addicted to loom bands and loves hugs. She is adventurous for her young age and always wants me to style her hair, although she always ends up styling mine in the end! She's the youngest, yet she has the biggest imagination!

Alfie is the only brother so having three sisters may not be his favourite thing ever! He's a typical boy… he loves nerf guns, motorbikes and is a daredevil, attempting to climb every tree he sees. He gets into lots of arguments with Poppy and Rosie, so when I'm around I have to be the peacemaker! It's worth it for when they do get along, and that's the time when I get to see them all being happy and we feel like a proper family. Alfie would like a brother, but he says I'm all right, so that's what matters!

Rosie is the eldest of my half-siblings and tries to take charge a lot. Like Poppy, she likes loom bands and girly things, but likes to be independent too - and that gets her into trouble when she tries to boss the other two around! She looks after the younger ones well though, and lets me take charge when I see them. Rosie is really into Moshi Monsters… sharing time learning about Katsuma is always fun. Rosie does test you, so pay attention!

Being a split family does not affect our love for each other, and when we do get together it's like we saw each other only yesterday. They are always smiling and I am so proud to call them my siblings!

Cathy says:
Families come in all shapes and sizes… as long as there's love to hold it all together, that's what matters! Are YOU part of a blended family, or have you been through a family split? COMMENT BELOW to share your experience or to give a shout-out to Stephanie-Jade!

7 comments:

  1. I know it's so hard when families split. My parents want to split up, and I'm trying to stop them, because my brother is only 7 years old and I want him to be happy. But it's so hard for me to manage everything! I'm thirteen, and I'm really jumbled up all the time. I'm always thinking about so many things, like my friends, my school, my family, and how I feel about the new boy in my class who I really like. :)
    With everything, it's difficult to keep my family together, but I'm going to do it. I really want us to be a happy family, and I know that wishes do come true. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Aw, Ariana I hope things work out for u. Even if ur parents don't stay together it might be the best thing for ur family and u might be a happy family that way. But still keep wishing coz I'm sure there's a chance ur parents will stay together. Hamdi:)xxx

      Delete
  2. I'm in a sort of blended family. I have a stepfather but no step-siblings or half-siblings. I was 14 and my younger brother was 12 when Mum and her partner got together so they probably thought it wasn't a great idea to be having kids when we were already growing up and using up all the money in the household! The family split was the best thing that could've happened. My father was an abusive monster and although Mum threatened to leave, we knew we were trapped. Thank god he got dragged off to prison - although it took Mum a while to break free. We spent all our weekends hanging around with our neighbour in Edinburgh whilst Mum visited him in prison and I even felt forced into a few supervised visits with him in McDonald's when he got out. It was such a relief when Mum told us we didn't have to see him if we didn't want to. And then she figured him out too and she was single for a bit but she's happy with our stepdad now. The family split wasn't the end - it was a new beginning. And for my family, it was definitely the best thing that could've happened. It usually is. The stay together for the kids mindset is so damaging. I know my case is exceptional but if parents are unhappy together, their negative attitudes and bubbling resentment is going to be picked up on by the kids and that can be pretty damaging. I'm not saying people shouldn't work at failing relationships but sometimes splitting up is the only option and it doesn't have to be the end of the world.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anon, thank you for such an honest and yet uplifting account. I am so glad you have that new beginning, and that life is looking up.
      xxx

      Delete
  3. It's so sweet how Stephanie-jade values her half siblings so much:). It's so nice to see that even after a divorce, happy things can still happen, Hamdi:)xxx

    ReplyDelete
  4. I have an older brother a older sister a younger brother a younger sister and they are all half siblings. Although it may sound a bit mumble jumbled it doesn't matter what type of family you have as long as you love them. : ) If you don't then tell your mum then they can talk it over with you then sort the best option out for you and other siblings it is always best to talk to someone if your not happy. : ) Smiles Rosie xxx

    ReplyDelete
  5. I know it seems babyish, but I too have an addiction to moshi monsters! and I STILL sleep with my talking poppet plush and mr snoodle! but it's addictive! I'm only thirteen, and I will NEVER stop cuddling my toys in bed! cool story. and I'll bet I'd like rosie! oh, and I also LOVE climbing trees! love girl xxx :)

    ReplyDelete